Friday, 17 December 2010

I didn't know he was in a closet

I didn't know he was in a closet
(with no apologies to Pete)

A friend of mine was house-sitting for me, and when I went round to see how he was getting on, the nosy neighbour button-holed me and asked

"What was all that noise last night?"

I said "I'll find out", and rang the bell.

Well we did what friends do,and I forgot all about the neighbour, but she was there again when I left.

She insisted on knowing about the noise.

I had to think quickly, so said:

"Yesterday my friend decided to come out of the closet."

She said "Oh! - I didn't know he was in a closet"

I continued
"Having made the closet-exiting decision,
he found it necessary to first climb into the closet. "

She said "That's unusual........."

I interupted "Surprisingly, he found his wife in there.
What is a man supposed to do when he finds his wife in a closet?"

She was silent and looked aghast, so I continued:

"Well, unfortunately, the closet started rocking, and eventually it fell over.
That was apparently a small problem. "

"Small problem?" she whispered
The bigger problem was that it landed with the doors downwards,
so there was no way out."

By now her lower jaw had fallen so far below her upper, a tennis ball could enter with ease,

I concluded:

"The noise you heard was unfortunately the only way to save two lives.
You will be pleased to know that this will not happen again,
as he no longer has a closet."